Saturday, March 5, 2011

Bike Chain Posse are either snobs or bitches!

Okay, it's been a while, time for a little venting and explaining of the title of this post. Back in the day, us MTBers were looked down upon by the roadie crowd, I can remember walking in Tec's years ago and being ignored as I was not in the cool loop of roadies. Over time not only did mountain biking gain acceptance, it increased in popularity to the point where several pro roadies made the transition. IN my mind, the magazines putting more of an emphasis on downhilling, the televising of downhill racing or 4 cross, or dual slalom (which were at one time the side events of an mtb weekend) mountainbiking lost it's focus and we have seen a dwindling of the base of riders. For example, 10-12 years ago, every event even those in Tally, looked like the BUMP with hundreds of competitors. These days, the big pack rides are road rides, the big races where you must sign up as soon as online registration is open are the norm in road racing and the mountain bikers (Bike Chain Posse) protect and justify their fragile egos much the same way as the roadies did during mountain bikings golden era. Do I ride road primarily now, yes I do, but I have raced mountain bikes and shown up to be at a race with my friends and family with no sleep, no miles in my legs and over the last couple of years, with an inability to do anything but play pinball with the trees, bridges and rocks on the course. BUt still I do it! I do it for the camraderie, for the fellowship and for the laughs. I may not have much success, but the memories and the experiences were priceless.

So now that I am racing primarily road, I find a race that is equidistant from me and the Posse, has several miles of dirt to satisfy your need to get dirty and go over bumps and these are the responses I get. My bro-well between parenting, business, drinking beer, eating sour patch kids, collecting stuff in my garage and in my car, I can't train and just don't have the time, Cuz-, well ya know, I used to be fast, but I ain't right now so I can't get out ther and take an ass whooping, BW-well my thong got wrapped up in Big Jim's thong on our sleepover we did a couple of weeks ago and it made my throat sore when I woke up the next morning. Big Jim-Look, it was a big enough adventure for me to do a sleepover with a Big Worm, I just cant handle the stress of actually being in a pack of riders, what if my thongs shows? Mackeral......I'm in love with a non Whittington. Silk-I wish I had a big worm, but all my virillity goes to being the baddest mountain biker in Tally, why would I leave my comfort zone? Berg and Zach, I think Bieber might be on TV that night. As for Terry and Mingo, I am not gonna mess with you guys, I just think the opportunity to take your boys and have them watch crit races for about 5 hours on a beautiful Saturday afternoon with the constant buzzing of the pack coming by every minute or less, followed by a wild race on Sunday is something they may just enjoy.

All of you have probably watched at least one nascar race on TV, watching a crit is way more exciting, being in it is like being a racer, rubbing elbows, jockeying for rank. The race on Sunday will be sedate, it will be safe for all of you, even if your thong shows. Quite being a bunch of snobbish, little boy bitches and join me next weekend in Perry. I have been talking to ya'll about this race for over three months and none of you bitches have gotten up the nut for it. Bring your kids, crits are exciting to watch and even more fun to be in. I am doing one for sure, I may double on Saturday if I feel good. Sunday, I will just sit in. Enough the "We're mountain bikers", no your not youre cyclists, open your minds!

Oh by the way, Wednesday, did 40 miles, 2000 feet of climbing, 19.1 mph average to include the warmup all by myself, got the garmin to prove it. Come get some............................bitches


  1. Ouch...why so mean?

    For the record, I wear boyshorts. My OCD cannot handle a thong between my ass cheeks.

  2. That sucks Keith. I wish you could get these guys that ride to come up for it (like you do for them). If I was a cyclist, I would come up for sure. Spectating sounds good and supportive - what day/time for the crit?

  3. You are a cyclist! The cat 5 crit starts at 1:10pm on Saturday. The road race starts at 10 am on Sunday

  4. Good stuff, especially Bieber Fieber. This is a good race, did it last year....Here's what I learned. When you hit the dirt stay toward the front, you'll be suprised by how many can't ride in the dirt, we dropped about 20 every lap. Save something for the sprint, it's downhill and you may have a tail wind.

  5. Thanks Tim, you coming out to it? What about the climb? Steeper than 5%? Length? Rollers? The crit has climb in it but I think it can be done as a roller and just hammer over

  6. I'm a bitch so probably not, if I do it'll only be Sunday. There are two good climbs (for us Florida guys anyway) after the first turn. They're longer than any of the Chaires hills, about the same grade. Rest of the course isn't very hilly. Don't know anything about the Crit course. Good luck!